Ah, the honeymoon phase. The butterflies, the stolen glances, the way your partner’s laugh was the most charming sound on the planet. And then… life happens. Work deadlines, laundry piles, and somehow, you’re more excited about binge-watching your favorite show in sweatpants than grand romantic gestures. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, you’re not alone—and your love life isn’t doomed.

As therapists, we hear it all the time: “How do we keep the spark alive?” The good news? It’s totally possible. The better news? You don’t have to book a couples’ retreat in Bali or recite poetry by candlelight (unless that’s your thing). Here’s how to bring the romance back—therapist-approved and packed with a little humor, because love should be fun.

1. Date Nights: Yes, They Still Matter

Remember when you actually planned dates? When you put on real pants and left the house? It’s time to bring that energy back.

Pro tip: “Date night” doesn’t have to mean five-star dining. A picnic in the living room, a new hobby together, or even a late-night drive with old-school love songs can reignite that connection.
Therapy truth bomb: Novelty boosts attraction. Research shows that couples who experience new things together create excitement and emotional closeness. So, go ahead—take that salsa dancing class or try making sushi from scratch. (Bonus points if neither of you has a clue what you’re doing.)

2. The 6-Second Kiss Rule (Yep, It’s a Thing)

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, suggests couples should kiss for at least six seconds every day. Why? Because it forces you to slow down, reconnect, and break out of the autopilot routine.

Think about it—when was the last time you really kissed your partner, not just a quick peck before grabbing your keys? Exactly.
Science says: Oxytocin (a.k.a. the “love hormone”) is released when we engage in longer physical affection. Translation? It helps you feel closer and less like two people co-managing a household.

3. Flirt Like You Mean It

Flirting isn’t just for the early days. The couples who keep the spark alive? They never stop teasing, winking, and playfully goofing off with each other.

Try sending a flirty text during the workday (extra points for something unexpected).
Bring back inside jokes. Remember the hilarious thing that happened on your third date? Bring it up and laugh about it again.
Be intentionally affectionate—brush their arm, play with their hair, or just hold eye contact a little longer. (Warning: May cause spontaneous butterflies.)

4. Small Gestures, Big Impact

Love isn’t built on one grand romantic gesture; it’s built on the little things you do every day.

Leave a sticky note in their lunchbox or on the bathroom mirror. (Yes, it’s cheesy. Yes, they’ll secretly love it.)
Grab their favorite snack at the store just because.
Offer to do their least favorite chore without making it a thing.
The real therapy insight? Relationships thrive on bids for connection—the small moments where we reach out and say, “Hey, I see you, and I care.” Responding to those bids with warmth and attention is what keeps love strong.

5. Laugh. A Lot.

When was the last time you laughed together—like, full-on, ugly-laugh, can’t-breathe kind of laughter? If it’s been a while, let’s fix that.

Watch stand-up comedy or a funny show together.
Have a game night where you both end up ridiculously competitive.
Recreate a funny memory or inside joke.
Therapist’s note: Couples who laugh together stay together. Playfulness reduces stress, strengthens emotional bonds, and reminds you why you chose this person in the first place.

6. Communicate… But Make It Sexy

Yes, deep talks are important, but let’s be honest—relationship check-ins don’t have to feel like corporate meetings.

Instead of, “How was your day?” try, “What was the best part of your day?” (Opens up more meaningful convos.)
Share a random memory of something sweet they did that you never forgot.
Ask fun, thought-provoking questions: “If we met today, do you think we’d still fall for each other?” or “What’s a dream date you’ve never told me about?”

Final Thoughts from the Therapist’s Couch

Long-term love isn’t about keeping the honeymoon phase alive forever—it’s about choosing to show up, every day, in ways that make your relationship feel exciting, safe, and full of joy.

So, go ahead—kiss a little longer, flirt a little bolder, laugh a little louder. The spark? It’s still there—you just have to give it a little oxygen.

And if you ever feel like your relationship could use a tune-up, therapy isn’t just for when things are bad—it’s for making good relationships even better. 😉

A Gentle Reminder: As licensed therapists, we love sharing insights on relationships, parenting, mental health, and personal growth. While this blog provides valuable information and strategies, it is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. Everyone’s journey is unique, and if you need support, we encourage you to reach out to a licensed mental health professional or local resources. You deserve care that’s tailored to you!