So… you just went through a breakup. First off, I’m sorry. Breakups suck. Whether you’re feeling gut-punched, numb, weirdly fine, or all of the above within the span of ten minutes, you’re not alone.

The first 72 hours are crucial, this is when your brain is in full meltdown mode, trying to make sense of what just happened. You might feel the urge to send one last text (please don’t) or spiral down a TikTok rabbit hole of sad breakup edits (also not great).

Instead, here’s a therapist-approved guide to surviving these chaotic hours with a little more grace, self-compassion, and maybe even a bit of humor.

Step 1: Let Yourself Feel (But Don’t Get Stuck in an Emotional Dumpster Fire)

💡 Therapy Trick: “RAIN” Method
👉 Recognize what you’re feeling (“Ah yes, this is devastation.”)
👉 Allow it to exist without shoving it down or judging it.
👉 Investigate where you feel it in your body (Tight chest? Pit in your stomach?).
👉 Nurture yourself—internally say, “This is hard, but I’ve survived hard things before.”

✅ Cry. Ugly cry, if needed.
✅ Journal or voice memo your feelings. Sometimes, just talking to your phone like you’re in a reality show confessional helps.
✅ Move your body (even if it’s just angrily power-walking around your living room).

❌ DON’T try to numb with distractions that might make you feel worse later.
❌ DON’T text them “just for closure.”

Step 2: Cut Off Contact

Your brain is craving them like it craves comfort. Every text, stalk, or accidental “like” on their 2017 vacation pic is just going to make the withdrawal worse.

💡 Therapy Trick: “Urge Surfing”

Imagine your urge to reach out as a wave. It will peak, and then it will crash.
Instead of acting on the impulse, wait it out. Distract yourself for 10-15 minutes.
When the urge passes, you’ll realize… hey, I didn’t actually need to text them.

✅ Mute, block, unfollow, or do whatever protects your peace.
✅ Tell a trusted friend to slap the phone out of your hand if needed.
✅ Write the text you want to send in your Notes app, then DON’T send it.

❌ DON’T lurk on their Instagram stories like a digital ghost.
❌ DON’T “accidentally” bump into them at their favorite coffee shop. You’re not fooling anyone.

Step 3: Take Care of Your Body

Listen, I know eating a full meal when you feel like a shell of a human is hard. But your body is going through it, and keeping it fueled will help you think clearer.

💡 Therapy Trick: Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Tense a muscle group for 5 seconds, then slowly release.
Repeat this from head to toe. This helps discharge some of the pent-up stress.

✅ Eat something small if a full meal feels impossible: toast, a smoothie, some soup.
✅ Hydrate. You need water, not just coffee and tears.
✅ Sleep, but not all day. Get up, take a shower, change your clothes (yes, even if it's into a new pair of pajamas).

❌ DON’T live off of just snacks and emotional exhaustion.
❌ DON’T stay in bed scrolling for 12 hours straight. Your spine deserves better.

Step 4: Lean on People Who Love You (And Maybe a Therapist, Too)

💡 Therapy Trick: “Thought Defusion”

When self-critical thoughts pop up (e.g., “I’ll never find love again”), visualize them as words on a cloud floating away.
Or, sing them to the tune of Happy Birthday (seriously, it makes them feel ridiculous).

✅ Call or text a friend who hypes you up.
✅ If you need to vent, choose someone who won’t let you spiral.
✅ Consider booking a therapy session if the sadness feels overwhelming.

❌ DON’T trauma-dump on your barista.
❌ DON’T go back to your ex because “maybe they’ll change.”

Step 5: Remind Yourself That This Is Temporary

Right now, it might feel like the pain is never-ending. But I promise, you won’t always feel like this. The intensity will pass, and your heart will rebuild.

💡 Therapy Trick: “The Best Friend Test”

If your best friend were going through this, what would you say to them?
Now, say those same kind, reassuring words to yourself.

✅ Write down a few affirmations like:

“This pain is temporary.”
“I am more than this breakup.”
“I deserve love that chooses me back.’

✅ Do one small thing every day that reminds you who you are outside of this relationship.

❌ DON’T assume this breakup defines your worth.
❌ DON’T rush into dating apps just to prove you’re over them. Heal first.

Final Thought: You’re Going to Be Okay (Even If It Feels Like You Won’t Right Now)

Breakups hurt, but they also clear the way for something better. You might not see it yet, and that’s okay. Just focus on getting through one moment at a time.

Until then, be gentle with yourself. You’ve got this. 💙

Need extra support? Healing from a breakup can be overwhelming, and you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re struggling, therapy can help you process your emotions, rebuild your confidence, and create a path forward. Reach out today—we’re here to support you every step of the way. 💙

A Gentle Reminder: As licensed therapists, we love sharing insights on relationships, parenting, mental health, and personal growth. While this blog provides valuable information and strategies, it is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. Everyone’s journey is unique, and if you need support, we encourage you to reach out to a licensed mental health professional or local resources. You deserve care that’s tailored to you!